Forgiveness and Rewriting My Story

There’s a question I’ve been sitting with for some time now:

How do I forgive the people who put me in a situation that hurt me so deeply?

And perhaps even more poignantly—

How do I forgive myself for letting that hurt become part of my story?

These are the questions that have lingered in my heart after a series of events that changed my life in ways I never expected.

Recently, I shared about my experience of being involuntarily hospitalized just months after giving birth. At first, in my altered state, I thought it was a celebration for my birthday. That idea, however delusional, made it fun for a moment. But the truth was much heavier.

As the days unfolded, I got to know the patients and staff around me—humans with stories, pain, and depth. My heart cracked open for each of them. And yet, I couldn’t ignore the deep sense that the system is broken. I was in there because of fear—not because I was dangerous, but because someone else was scared. That distinction matters.

But it wasn’t until I spoke to a healer—a friend who listened without judgment—that I came face-to-face with a word I hadn’t fully understood until that moment: humiliation.

The moment she spoke it, a flood of emotion came rushing through me. That word made me cry in a way I hadn’t expected. I realized that I hadn’t just experienced a difficult situation—I had felt deep shame for the first time in my life at the age of 39. While I enjoy having fun and don't mind feeling silly, this experience pushed me to my edge and into unchartered territory.

But I do not choose humiliation as part of my story. Because the words we choose and the stories we tell matter—they become part of who we are. While I cannot control the labels others place on me, I decide how to react and what to own. We all do.

What It Really Means to Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness isn’t always easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things we do—for others and for ourselves.

For me, forgiving myself meant acknowledging the pain, being honest about the hurt, and releasing the shame I had attached to it.

I forgive myself for allowing humiliation to take up space in my heart.

I forgive myself for carrying the burden of everyone’s safety on my shoulders.

I forgive myself for thinking I should have known better—for believing I failed to protect the people I love.

That belief—failing to protect the people I love—has haunted me more than anything else. But I know now: it wasn’t my fault. It’s okay to have trusted. It’s okay to have believed in goodness. That doesn’t make me weak. That makes me me.

Forgiving Others While Keeping Boundaries

Forgiving others is a different kind of hard. It doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean saying what happened was okay. It means choosing not to let bitterness live in your body.

I still wrestle with the question: How could they?

But I come back to four simple questions before I speak or write about this:

• Is it true?

• Is it kind?

• Is it necessary?

• Does it help people smile?

That’s how I protect my peace. That’s how I keep my story rooted in truth, not revenge.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing continued harm. You can forgive and still walk away—with clarity, grace, and peace. The truth is, forgiveness isn’t about the other person; it’s about freeing yourself from the weight they placed on you. But, by keeping boundaries, I am ensuring that I don’t make the same mistake of over-extending myself again.

I don’t condone what happened. But I’m choosing to move forward—not with anger—but with clarity, boundaries, and grace. Because holding onto resentment only keeps me stuck in someone else’s version of my story. And I refuse to live there anymore.

A Grounding Practice to Start Your Day

I didn’t feel shattered. I felt pushed—to my edge, to my limit, to the max. And yet, I’m still standing—clearer, softer, and stronger than I’ve ever been.

These days, I’ve started a practice that began in the hospital. Before my feet even hit the floor, I take a few deep breaths. I focus on the peace I want to feel, and the joy I want to bring to others. I pause and ask myself:

What story do I want to tell today?

This simple question has become my guiding principle. By asking it first thing in the morning, I intentionally choose the narrative I want to own—not the one that others might write for me, not one that’s rooted in fear or shame, but one that honors my truth, growth, and voice.

Healing at the beach with my baby, 2025.

To the One Struggling in Silence

And if you’re reading this silently—maybe scrolling with a lump in your throat or tears in your eyes—I want you to know something:

You are not alone.

You’re not weak for feeling deeply.

You’re not broken for needing rest.

You don’t need to carry their expectations any longer.

You're allowed to choose a new story, too.

We’re not here to be palatable—we’re here to be whole.

With love and gratitude,

Jennica Joyce

If this stirred up some questions for you, here are a few that come up often—and what I’ve learned along the way.

Q: Can you really forgive someone and still keep boundaries?

A: Yes. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing continued harm. You can forgive and decide to stay or walk away—with clarity, grace, and peace.

Q: How do you forgive yourself for not knowing better?

A: It starts by acknowledging your humanity, offering yourself compassion, and rewriting your story from a place of growth, not guilt.

Pin This Reminder:

"What story do I want to tell today?"

If you’re ready to take the next step in embracing your own story with clarity and confidence, I’d love to support you on this journey.

Join my 1-Day Wild Mama Wellness Virtual Retreat – a self-paced, nurturing experience created to support your body, mind, and spirit through this sacred time.

In this self-paced virtual retreat, we’ll:

🌿 Reduce discomfort and nurture your body

🌟 Deepen your connection to your growing baby

💪 Empower you to walk this path with confidence

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Sign up now and start your empowered journey today—because every mama deserves to feel strong in her body and confident in her dreams.

With love and support,

Jennica